A while ago I wrote a song and put it in a drawer and forgot about it. One day it dawned on me that this song was in the voice of a woman. I had the picture of tapestry, of an artist weaving a single thread that makes its mark by how it is thread through the fabric of history. Providence is like this thread. We cannot see the whole picture, but the grand design and fabric might make sense if seen. Often, we will not see on this side of heaven the entire piece of art. However, we can still be connected to the mystery and have security in the fact that there is a plan and that the plan is working both in our personal favor and in the favor or humankind. The good news is that Jesus, the crucified man on the cross unveiled with his act the mystery. God wore and wears our human skin. He loves us, that much. Love wins!
When I looked down at Elias, his newborn body molded to my arm, I couldn’t help but question his life. He wasn’t the story I planned for. He wasn’t what I dreamed of or even wanted. I cried and felt an overwhelming amount of guilt as these thoughts saturated my mind.
The day I found out my son had Down syndrome, was the day I became a different person. I questioned God. I was angry with God.