A special guest blog from author Natalie Falls.
When I looked down at Elias, his newborn body molded to my arm, I couldn’t help but question his life. He wasn’t the story I planned for. He wasn’t what I dreamed of or even wanted. I cried and felt an overwhelming amount of guilt as these thoughts saturated my mind.
The day I found out my son had Down syndrome, was the day I became a different person. I questioned God. I was angry with God.
Today, I am thankful that God new exactly what I needed. He had to break me down, even if it was through my own flesh and blood.
I had never questioned God with his direction in my life before this point. Everything was going as I had planned. My life was pretty easy. But in the darkness of the unknown I have learned something very important. God uses difficult circumstances to bring beauty out of my life.
I have always been a creative person. Good music and art have been an inspiration to me. But now things are different. The way I value creativity have changed since Elias was born. When I sit down to write. When I capture images with my camera. My heart beats to a different rhythm and my soul knows a different kind of value.
Four years ago I held my son with Down syndrome and I questioned God’s purpose for my life and my son’s life. During that time I had no idea that he was stirring a passion inside of me. He has opened my eyes to a whole knew understanding of what beauty really is. The broken have become precious. The despised have become valuable. What I create is more than what I want to write about or what I want to capture. It is inspired by the Maker of the universe.
You can visit Natalie at nataliefalls.com