Rage quitting to those who are gamers is when a player out of disgust at being utterly dominated by the other team abruptly exits the game. If you are online playing Modern Warfare 3, for instance, in your headset you can here the chuckles when such an event occurs. “Oh, wow, he rage quit…loser!” None of us like being the loser. But, some of us have a hard time staying in the game when we are not at our best. Perfectionism, pride, and lack of restraint keep us from sticking things out.
In real life this looks something like an employee who after having a bad season, disappears. Or, it is like a young couple dating that has their first fight, suddenly then seeing one party break up the relationship. You attempt prayer to overcome an issue in your life, then you mess up once again. You quit praying. You quit attending church. All of these relational rage quits come out of impulse. You mean well. And, usually you do well. But, there is always that time when something unexpected hits you. Your ranking on the leaderboard begins to lag and you take you ball and go home.
Tenacity is a sign of self-control. Patiences and self-control are fruits of the Spirit. So, in order to stick things through we need more than our own strength. Supernatural help is on its way, if we allow God to turn us toward him and cool our temper. Here are seven tips to overcoming rage quitting:
Disavow whining: Whining is when you murmur, mutter, and sputter with your mouth how bad everything is. Everyone laughs at Eyeore but no one should want to be one. Negative chatter can store up fuel for a rage quitting flare up.
Reject victimhood: Nothing causes angst as much as blaming others for your faults, problems, or pain. If you never blame yourself for anything, you will never see the need to improve your score. It will always be the game controller or the team you or stuck with in video gaming. In real life, it could be the very people who love you most. Shame on us if thats the case.
Practice gratitude: Thanking people for what they legitimately do for us is important. It is antidote to diva-hood. It is the way to cool our self-absorbed anger and warm our hearts to people. All it takes is a simple note, text, or call to say, “I appreciate what you did and who you are!” This practice even benefits us further in that it allows us to more easily thank God, who ultimately gives us anything good.
Exercise empathy: The Good Samaritan felt and acted for the benefit of others. He put a stranger’s physical needs high on his list. When is the last time the needs and feelings of another ranked high for you? Empathy is a muscle that if we neglect leads to childish selfishness and over-self-protection. If you are overly bored, that is a gut-check.
Practice and prepare: When we enter a situation where the odds are stacked against us, are we underprepared? Did we practice enough? Rehearsing, even in our minds, is important. Being a learner is a discipline. Keeping sharp when the heat is off, allows you better odds when things get tough. In relationships, this means learning how to communicate better. This is easier if applied before a conflict arises.
Invite feedback: Often, asking a wise friend to help can save wrecking a relationship or saying something rash. In a work setting, finding a mentor in your field who is not a coworker might be golden. In your faith, seeking out someone who acts like you want to act can grow you. It can only work is you are willing to take the punishment of the words of a friend’s critique.
Moderate expectations: If you score low normally, don’t expect to top the game leaderboard overnight. If in relationships you struggle in an area, allow yourself freedom to see a gradual growth rather than giving up altogether. The biggest thing that causes rage is unmet expectations. You had better be honest with the probable outcome to spare you and others from your potential acting out.
Anger is something not becoming to us when it is not purposeful, righteous, or in the context of humility. This would mean rarely does it every benefit to allow it to move us too deeply. I hope these tips can help you keep in the game!