Why is it that some of us just have trouble with being poked fun at? Well, the best thing is to poke fun at yourself or people like you. It makes most sense, after all. I know Mark Driscoll recently picked on us worship leaders–at least the “anatomically effeminate” male worship leaders. I think I am not one of those and really am not sure what in the world he was talking about. So, instead of bashing a tasteless jab at us worship leaders who mostly are extremely manly, I am offering a bit more tasteful poke at us worship leaders and pastors alike. Here is some humor to poke fun at ourselves.
I think pedicures should be required as part of being on the church worship band, after all many of us wear sandals and flip flops for the summer. Of course, it would cost extra to do this except for the ladies. Its like how a SUV costs more at the car wash—have you seen most drummers feet? Really!
And, those low low v-necks need to be BANNED. Who wants to see your wannabe carpet? Most worship leaders grow a go-tee because their chest is as smooth as Kansas and about as butt ugly as Texas heat. Or, better yet the flavor saver will do for those who wish they can be hipsters but cannot even grow whiskers in a months time. Really.
And, what about those worship leader elf shoes? Really. It’s like they were ripped off from the bowling ally and smell just as bad. Or, why is it that Toms shoes are required? I understand getting them, but why do they have to be the glitter ones? Really. Just. Plain. Distracting.
Another worship leader fail is this: the so-called skinny jeans. We know what this is about, don’t we. It is another term for stealing your sister’s pants! Yep, you look better than her in them, but that is not the point. And, for the rest of us, just because our jeans do not fit anymore does not give us an excuse to keep wearing them. The word skinny is not a metaphor. Really.
What is it with pastors or preachers and wearing Hawaiian shirts here out in Southern California? Sorry, the idea that large patterns hide a gut is just a myth. Face it. You look like a large man wearing a moo moo cut off at the waist. Really.
And, that Brittany Spears microphone you preachers wear over your ears makes me feel what it might feel like to be at a Amway convention. GASP! And, not tucking your shirt surely does not make you ten years younger! Talk about a possibility for a “What NOT to Wear” TV episode.
Let me know what you think! Funny or not funny?